Safe harbor!

We six landed in a tiny cottage for the time being, safe and sound. I have worked tirelessly to quickly make certain that it felt completely homey with little to no resources but lot's of know-how.

Everyone is sleeping well, including Anabelle who has now made the front room her spot as you can see in the pictures.


We are okay. Safe and happy to be so. 

And incredibly, indescribably grateful.

The new dog den. Thanks, dogs, for letting me pretend it's mine

We are being pressured to recover anything we think is recoverable, excavate documents, that sort of thing. Almost immediately after we go in we are deeply and intensely overwhelmed. It is incredibly difficult because of the emotional hammer of it all.

Our place is not burned up like the unit where the explosion occurred, there is only a small amount of fire damage. It is mostly water and smoke damage. The responders do an incredible job covering everything inside almost immediately. They not only have to clear the floor right away for their own safety and benefit, they do so with an effort to minimize damage to everything in there. It's very impressive and only deepens my already enormous respect for those who do that job, it has inspired a bit of hero worship for them. It's amazing what they do.

Unfortunately, even with all that effort, there is the smoke, water and foam, which, after boarding up the place, wreaks havoc on the plastic covered piles.

As for those incremental heroics of those of us after the fire has been put out, none of us can do much of anything afterward for the rest of the day because it wrecks our ability to think straight and drains us emotionally and physically. 

Plus we come to find out there is no security and people have actually been coming around on a regular basis to plunder from things being taken out by residents and put aside for later transport and/or storage arrangements.

  

 

We are slowly building a little temporary home here to wait it out until they green tag the building.  It seems Anabella isn't having nightmares, or so we think. Everyone is starting to get some sleep so not up to monitor Anabella like we were in the hotel when we hardly slept.We hope she isn't so restless anymore. Everyone has started resting better at night and spirits are high so we hope some comfort to her. Willow seems happy (especially with the pillows from a deceased friend that I rescued from storage).

A bouquet I brought for the table yesterday

I told a friend that I was feeling the broken parts of my heart today. He quoted Charlie Brown (a character in the Peanuts cartoons by Charles Schultz) --

"You know you've got a broken heart because the jagged edges poke you when you lay on your side."

Just the thought that my terrible despair was being met with a quote from a cartoon character made me smile and I remembered why life is so great. The randomness.

I can't enjoy the randomness when it is in my favor and revile it when it isn't. To love life, to know the joy of living I think takes willingness to endure the jagged edges. After all, however jagged the edges right now, everyone I care about is alive and well, including myself.

Made a little breakfast

Susan Rosenberg, a teacher at Homeboy Industries in downtown Los Angeles brought a Willow-proof muzzle (yay!) and bowls for the dogs plus a makeup kit which was given to Gladys who loves it. Thank you, Susan!

An anonymous donation to our hotel will enable us to stay until the 5th of January. We know the woman is in Arizona and that she found out about our situation (being displaced by fire and in hotel looking for housing) from an announcement that went out to the Drikung Kagyu and wider Tibetan Buddhist email lists.

Our benefactor is a relatively new student of H. E. Garchen Rinpoche and it is our good fortune that she is practicing such extraordinary generosity and kindness.

Know this--there is a lot of goodness out there if you are looking for it.


It's comforting and strengthening at the same time because we know we can have more days in a search that now involves several people in the area and all our waking hours.

We feel there will be a very good outcome. It's emotionally taxing but at the same time easier to endure because of the love, concern, and compassion we are being shown.

We turned in another application this morning at 8 AM for a place that we loved. An hour later the owner called and asked me to come pick up the application. He's leaving town tomorrow and the service he usually uses is not processing credit checks and he says he doesn't want to hold up up.

Just like the last application rejected, it was a blow. When you are looking and applying you feel very hopeful and when it doesn't work out the grim reality overcomes you like a dark tide. It's a momentary feeling of helplessness. For me personally it's a terrible feeling because I want so much to know that my elderly mother and our dear neighbor and the dogs will be okay. That to me is paramount. Yes I have to think of and look after myself. But making sure they are all okay is helping me get through this. It strengthens me to look after them all. So when the application is rejected my heart sinks.

So that was the morning. Okay, I thought (after balling my eyes out), I'll get back to the hotel and get back to work going over listings and making phone calls, hopefully applying again soon.

When we got back the hotel manager called us down to the lobby. I hoped it wasn't anything bad because I can only do one dissapointment per day right now, thank you.

We all get down there and Dave, the manager here at the Vagabonmd Inn in Pasadena and he wants us to know that an anonymous donor made sure we could stay here until the 5th of January.

How much goodness, kindness there is!

Know this--there is a lot of goodnes in the world, especially if you are looking for it.

Here's a little Casanova to brighten your day...

It's truly a blessing to be in the hotel room with the kitchenette because now I can now follow the routine I had with the dogs which I am hoping will lift their spirits a little. Our usual routine was that after they went outside to take care of business they first sit down to let me remove their leashes then they sit quietly at the edge of the kitchen to await their baby carrots which is their reward for asking to go outside and waiting rather than using the indoors for their toilet. They love baby carrots.

I've been lavishing affection and praise on them as I usually do but I think going back to "normal" makes a difference for them.

It does for us as well. The more we do here at the hotel what we would do at  home the less overwhelming the situation is.

It's also extremely helpful to have people calling or texting to "check-in." It would be too difficult and overwhelming to have to do this without people checking on us and expressing their concern.

In so many ways we are extremely fortunate and incredibly grateful.

Thank you so much for your responses! It means everything.

Notice how Anabella is sleeping? Her leg stretched out, etc.? See photo of Willow below.

I think Anabella is finally feeling more peaceful. She has even picked up sassing at Willow again. She loves to stir up trouble with the other dogs. She makes extended effort preceded by plotting and scheming to entangle the other dogs in some drama over toys, territory, food. No we do not force them to sleep in their bondage gear. I keep them all geared up for the safety of staff and especially when we are transporting them or walking them because of the traffic. They were in a relatively safe place free from traffic where they could go outside back at the Red Tagged Inn (our poor damaged residence).

Anabella went through the Apocalypse. That had to be a terrifying experience for her. Mi chica. She ony understands Spanish. Did I mention that?

Here's what I get an eye full of when I tuck in at night:

 

Anabella instigates little antagonisms with Willow and at the same time mimics her more and more. They both worry if they don't know the others whereabouts and are constantly sniffing around for each other. Have a look at Anabella in the first photo and the photo below of Willow sleeping at the same time tonight.